One More Step

I'm tired
      There's one more step in you

I'm not ready
      You don't have a choice

The road is so long
      But you must carry on

It all seems so futile
      Such fear in your voice


I don't know if I have what it takes to be strong.
      Well that's one foolproof way to never be wrong.
      To sit and to wonder and wrinkle your brow,
      to always ask why and never ask how,
      let nebulous plans float around in your head,
      find most satisfaction asleep in your bed.

But I'm paralyzed by fear!
      Would you rather be dead?

Well sometimes I think...
      And most everyone does
      give up at some point
      but hold on now because
      even though your next goal
      is not clear in your sights
      does not mean it's all over.
      Open eyes! See the light!

      It's there gleaming brighter
      than ever before.
      Perhaps it's quite far
      off on some distant shore,
      but it's THERE and it's REAL
      and you'll have it someday.
      It will sneak up behind
      after you've gone astray.


But I don't want to meet with whatever's ahead.
Can't do it, don't want it, whatever you said.
It's THIS that feels real, this fear and this pain,
the hardship and doubt and attempts made in vain.
I feel trapped by any of the paths I could choose.
Why gamble when I know already I'll lose?


      You can't see the future, there's no one that can.
      But you have some control, you can still make a plan.
      You'll grow and you'll change and your plans will change too.
      There's no limit to what you will think, see or do.
      Waiting's not easy, results won't come fast.
      You'll be pushed to complete breaking point when at last
      you will a feel a great tug pull so strong at your heart
      that nothing you do can stop you from the start
      of the most grand adventure that you've had to date.

      Take just one more step, and shake hands with your fate.


kvogel 8.23.09

Catching Crickets

A cricket, green and lithe, leapt from my hands.
Bright, clever, spry, I watched him gladly play.
He looked back only once and caught my eye.
He winked, turned 'round, continued on his way.

The cricket looked so friendly, free and simple.
I followed him across the open green.
But soon, sun set, and slowly all grew dim.
Just visible was his illusive sheen.

No longer could I see his spritely dances.
Just faintly I could hear his charming voice.
Perhaps he wondered whether I drew nigh.
I pursued, resolute - I had no choice.

Upset that I was no closer to Cricket,
I raced more fervently, I felt half blind.
I tripped and fell, and knew that to be sure
all was now lost, I was too far behind.

While on the ground, I saw another cricket.
Just like the first, exquisite in disguise.
I looked up on the stars and my heart burst.
I let both go and gently closed my eyes.

kvogel 11.07

Jump

I stood before the circling blades
with terror in my eyes.
I'd faced some horrors in the past,
but this would be my demise.

The blood was surging in my veins,
cold sweat ran down my face.
My heart was pounding in my chest,
my legs were locked in place.

The awful sound of those whirling whips
was all that I could hear.
My vision clouded with the weight
of anxiety and fear.

The cold eyes of my surrounders
commanded my retreat.
I wanted to leave, to turn, to run,
but I could not move my feet.

The adrenaline drained from my body.
Any hope I had was gone.
I was a fool for coming here.
How could I have been so wrong?

While running through my follies,
a curious thing occurred;
deep inside me, just beneath my gut,
a fire began to burn.

I let go of my self-deprecations
as the the fire spread into my chest.
I looked around, and now could see
I was no more scared than the rest.

The two firmly holding the handles
were smiling, not leering, at me.
Gently they twirled their hands around.
We were teammates now, we three.

And the crowd I once thought so menacing,
upon second glance, seemed kind.
They were only five, and their friendly eyes
invited me to take my time.

My attention snapped back to my body
as the fire barreled into my head.
Then a hush fell across my universe
as a small voice spoke. She said:

"You mustn't lament poor circumstance,
don't feel guilt you've gone awry.
The only thing expected of you
is to give an honest try."

With that, I woke from my reverie,
and, newly filled with hope,
stood tall, and without looking back,
leapt into the jump ropes.


kvogel 1.7.10